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[personal profile] francesbcobain
A Collection Of Songs Written And Recorded 1995-1997

  • And then there's you but that's so obvious, it's hopeless and I know this.

  • And me I'm in my bedroom drawing in my notebook,
    Because my hand thinks I'm an artist,
    But my heart knows I'm a poet,
    It's just words they mean so little to me.

  • I can't seem to deal with total trust,
    There is something very wrong with me.

  • We escape from the house,
    As the day disappears from the sky,
    Into night,
    We became what we wanted to be,
    Like a dream or a ghost.

  • And it's moments like this that repeat and replay in my head,
    When I'm laying in bed.

  • I want to be with you all of the time,
    It's hopeless but I have to try.

  • And this is the sound of the hopeless ones,
    As they stare down at their books,
    And realize they have been lied to.

  • I've come this far,
    But I can't go through with it because the truth would hurt,
    Too much,
    This hurts too much.

  • Wait for the sadness to set in,
    Because that's the only feeling that's worth a damn.

  • Into this song, I send myself,
    And with these drinks I plan to collapse and forget,
    This wasted year,
    These wasted years.

  • Some decisions you don't make,
    I guess it's like breathing and not wanting to,
    There are some things that you can't fake.

  • I guess that it is typical,
    To cling to memories you'll never get back again.

  • I could never replace you. Could never forget what it's like


Letting Off The Happiness

  • And so I drink to stay warm,
    And to kill selected memories,
    cause I just can't think anymore about that,
    Or about her tonight.

  • But I give myself three days to feel better,
    Or else I swear I'll drive right off a fucking cliff,
    'cause if I can't learn to make myself feel better,
    How can I expect anyone else to give a shit?

  • And I scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere,
    Just get me past this dead and eternal snow,
    'cause I swear that I'm dying, slowly but it's happening,
    And if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere,
    Just take me there.

  • And so tonight to celebrate I will poison myself,
    Another coughing, shaking fit in a bathroom,
    That is spinning.

  • Well I've cried and you would think I'd be better for it,
    But the sadness just sleeps and it stays in my spine.

  • Why try to fight what is now so certain?
    The truth is all that I am is a passing event that will be forgotten.

  • But these are days we dream about when the sunlight paints us pure,
    And this apartment could not be prettier as when we danced up there alone.

  • You are new with a promise of a love,
    You will probably never find.

  • And there is nothing more I want than just one night,
    That's free of doubt and sadness,
    One night that I can really feel.

  • And I felt I was on fire, with the things I could have told you,
    I just assumed that you eventually would ask,
    And I wouldn't have to bring up my so badly broken heart,
    And all those months I just wanted to sleep.

  • I know I can't keep living in this dead or dying dream.


Every Day And Every Night

  • But I believe that lovers should be tied together and,
    Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather,
    And left there to drown,
    Left there to drown in their innocence.

  • I believe that lovers should be chained together,
    And thrown into a fire with their songs and letters,
    And left there to burn,
    Left there to burn in their arrogance.

  • But as for me I'm coming to my final failure,
    I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better,
    But I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be.

  • Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers,
    And laid entwined together on a bed of clover,
    And left there to sleep,
    Left there to dream of their happiness.

  • And like Neely O'hara you swallow your sleep,
    And wake up in the morning,
    To find out you are not who you used to be.


Fevers And Mirrors

  • And it's inadequate to describe where I am,
    In the room of my house where the light's never been,
    Waiting for this day to end.

  • Now and again it seems worse than it is,
    But mostly the view is accurate.

  • And you're not really sure what you're doing this for,
    But you need something to fill up the days,
    A few more hours.

  • You combed your hair inside that mirror,
    The one you painted blue and glued with jewelry tears,
    Something about those bright colors,
    Would always make you feel better.

  • But now we speak with ruined tongues,
    And the words we say aren't meant for anyone,
    It's just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance,
    But there was once you.

  • You said you hate my suffering,
    And you understood,
    And you'd take care of me,
    You'd always be there,
    Well where are you now?

  • And I sing and sing of awful things,
    The pleasure that my sadness brings.

  • Sunrises, sunsets,
    You're hopeful then you regret,
    The circle never breaks.

  • For a sunrise or a sunset,
    You're manic or you're depressed,
    Will you ever feel okay?

  • For a sunrise or a sunset, your lover is an actress.
    Did you really think she'd stay?

  • Well, summer's going to come, it's gonna cloud our eyes again.

  • Well, winter is going to end, I'm going to clean these veins again,
    So close to dying that I finally can start living.

  • For the moon never shines and the stars never rise without bringing me dreams,
    Haunted by the ghosts of those bright eyes.

Don't Be Frightened Of Turning The Page

  • So here we go,
    But there ain't no escape,
    Yeah, these streets they're just dead ends,
    So I won't ever be happy again.

  • And I wrote a letter to my family,
    Said it's not your fault,
    And you've been good to me,
    Just lately I've been feeling,
    Like I don't belong,
    Like the ground's not mine to walk upon.

  • I'd prefer to be remembered as a smiling face,
    Not this fucking wreck,
    That's taken its place.

  • So please forgive what I have done,
    No you can't stay mad at the setting sun,
    Cause we all get tired, I mean eventually,
    There is nothing left to do but sleep.


There Is No Beginning To The Story

  • It was in a foreign hotel's bathtub I baptized myself in change,
    And one by one I drowned all of the people I had been.

  • I accept I won't cling to what I had in the past,
    But life's a slippery slope, regret's the steepest hill,
    Hope for the best, plan for the worst and maybe wind up somewhere,
    In the middle.

  • But you get nauseous now,
    As he speaks to you,
    Such proper language,
    For acts so cruel.


Lifted Or The Story Is In The Soil, Keep Your Ear To The Ground

  • 'Cause I don't know what tomorrow brings,
    It is alive with such possibilities,
    All I know is I feel better when I sing.

  • You said you would be my dream. I could have you every night
    and if, by morning, I had forgotten you, well, no big deal, it would be all right
    'cause you are the reoccurring kind,
    You are the reoccurring kind,
    You never really leave my mind.

  • I want a lover I don't have to love,
    I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck.

  • You write such pretty words
    But life's no story book
    Love's an excuse to get hurt
    And to hurt
    "Do you like to hurt?"
    "I do! I do!"
    "Then hurt me."

  • But you should never be embarrassed by your trouble with living,
    Because it is the ones with the sorest throats, Laura, who have done the most singing.

  • Your carelessness, it is something awful. But no, I just can't let you go.


Digital Ash In A Digital Urn

  • But if you stay too long inside my memory,
    I will trap you in a song tied to a melody.

  • And each morning she wakes,
    With a dream to describe,
    Something lovely that bloomed,
    In her beautiful mind,
    I say, "I'll trade you one,
    For two nightmares of mine,
    I have somewhere I die,
    I have somewhere we all die."

  • Sometimes I pray I don't die,
    I'm a goddamn hypocrite.

  • The levity of longing that,
    Distills each dream inside my head,
    By morning watered down forget,
    On silver stars I wish and wish and wish.


I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

  • And just when I get so lonesome I cant speak.

  • We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain.

  • Cause what is simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is,
    What's so simple in the moonlight, now is so complicated.

  • And you said "this is the first day of my life,
    I'm glad I didn't die before I met you,
    But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you,
    And I'd probably be happy."

  • And the world's got me dizzy again,
    You think after 22 years I'd be used to the spin.

  • And I'm glad you got away,
    But I'm still stuck out here.

  • The sound of loneliness makes me happier.

  • Well I could have been a famous singer,
    If I had someone else's voice,
    But failure's always sounded better.

  • So don't be fooled. No don't get lied to. Love was always cruel.


Noise Floor (Rarities: 1998-2005)

  • And every night I think I certainly won't ever sleep sober or alone,
    And then suddenly it occurs to me,
    I've slept alone before you,
    And so I pour myself the stiffest drink my stomach can stand,
    And convince myself to lay back down again.

  • But now it's easy, getting easier,
    To leave you and this town behind.

  • And now it all seems too familiar like pages turned on calendars,
    We get the same twelve months to fuck things up, year after year.

  • And with these drinks I plan to collapse,
    And forget this wasted year, these wasted years,
    Devoted friends, they disappear.

  • I guess that it's typical,
    To cling to memories you'll never get back again,
    And to sort through old photographs,
    Of a summer long ago or a friend that you used to know.

  • It hurts when you discover one's worse and one's better, to suffer or cause others to.

  • Don't you say to me that life's a trap, the future's nothing but a tragedy,
    Cause I'll be out of that window, I'll start wishing to die again.


Cassadaga

  • A heart just can't contain all of that empty space,
    It breaks.

  • All your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse.

  • Every reassurance just magnifies the doubt,
    Better find yourself a place to level out.

  • I tried to pass for nothing,
    But my dreams gave me away.

  • You mean nothing to no one but that's nobody's fault.

  • Now sorrow is pleasure when you want it instead.

  • And never trust a heart that is so bent it can't break.

  • And if life seems absurd what you need is some laughter,
    And a season to sleep and a place to get clean,
    Maybe Los Angeles, somewhere no one's expecting.

  • Don't be so amazing or I'll miss you too much.

  • So pleased with a daydream that now living is no good.


The People's Key

  • The sunshine's so cliche,
    Just like love and pain,
    You tried your best the rorschach test,
    But there's just nothing to see.

  • Well, I know when it's finally done,
    This whole life's a hallucination,
    You're not alone in anything,
    You're not alone in trying,
    To be.


Water

  • Something deep inside of me will always miss you,
    But now you're gone and there is nothing I can do.

  • And now I hope, and every night I pray,
    That you are kept safe and brought back to me someday,
    I miss you and I love you, this you already know.

  • Lay back on your head against the cold tile floor,
    Close your eyes, fall back for a safety net, it doesn't seem to work,
    Gives way right at the impact,
    That's okay cause that's not what you wanted to ever be,
    And it's probably better this way,
    Hide yourself from a world that doesn't seem to care.


Here's To Special Treatment

  • Because I've been lying here for a while now,
    And I, I've been dying here for a while now.

  • I never knew someone so broken could bring another such relief.

  • What is there going to be left to see
    Except suffocated thoughts,
    Suffocated thoughts,
    Of what you've done to me.


Conor Oberst

  • There's no sorrow that the sun's not gonna heal.

  • If I loved you, well that's my fault.

  • This little world's too crowded now,
    And there's only one way out.

  • And I'm not pretending,
    That it's all okay,
    Just let me have my coffee,
    Before you take away the day.


Outer South

  • My mind keeps slipping back into the past,
    I hope someday that I can get it back.

  • When I'm with you and when you're with me,
    I got a sad sinking feeling,
    I got a sad sinking feeling that will never be.

  • Looking for a doctor with a cure for a broke heart,
    Seems I spent it all on a miracle just to watch it fall apart.


One Of My Kind

  • I can't live in this city,
    But I'll probably die here.


Upside Down Mountain

  • Some loneliness is acceptable,
    And some's just outright mean.

  • I can't compete with memories,
    They never have to change.

  • How bittersweet is love's illusion,
    Feelings that cannot be proven.


Misc

  • There's endless entertainment,
    thinking the world is gonna end,
    I've lived some nights convinced of it,
    but I keep waking up again.

  • Loving you is easy,
    I can do it in my sleep,
    I dream of you so often,
    It's like you never leave.

  • and it is in this light we are lost,
    the scent of summer in our hair,
    and laying on our bed of grass,
    with pleasure thick and sticking to the air.

  • Somehow I knew I'd end up empty and alone.

  • Another perfect day, they keep piling up,
    I got happiness that I can maintain, so beginner's luck.

  • Your carelessness, it is something awful,
    But no, I just can't let you go.

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